- Cat fell asleep on keyboard and didn’t move for three months.
- Demons possessed computer mouse. Every time bought a new mouse, that one got possessed, too. Finally gave up and learned how to use trackpad while ignoring unnatural crab-like movements of possessed mice.
- Forgot password at same time Kosher dietary laws expanded to forbid clicking on Send me new password (NOTE: only applies to Jews and confused Unitarians).
- Agreed to act as scientific consultant for megalomaniacs playing God on a Costa Rican island-turned-Disneyland with resurrected, extinct creatures which should have been left extinct, you fools, you mad, mad fools! Also, velociraptor bites took several months to heal.
- Developed eyeball allergy to WordPress logo. Took Benadryl and got too sleepy to type.